Merry Christmas!

When I was a child, I remember lying with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come.

Then there was the awkward silence as he got up and left.

Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
 A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.

Why did the blonde stop using the pill?

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
 A: Because it kept falling out.

What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician

Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?

Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

What does a blonde think an innuendo is?

Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.

What do the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?

Q: What do the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common?
A: They've both swallowed a lot of seamen.

Blonde & The Car Mechanic

A Blonde told her girlfriend,
"I was so worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off.
And I was so relieved when he told me that all I needed was blinker fluid!"

A man went went to the doctor...

A man went went to the doctor and said, "Doc, I've gained 80 pounds. I'm miserable, I can't even see my private parts."
The doctor  asked "Have you tried to diet?"
The man thought for a minute and said "What color?"

Hillary Clinton's Concussion...

A reporter asks Bill Clinton, "How's Hillary's head?"

Bill replied, "Well, she's no Monica."