A man wants to introduce his nephew to the game of sex...

 A man wants to introduce his nephew to the game of sex. The young man is worried that he might not do it right so his uncle comes up with a plan. The young man will get a prostitute, wine her and dine her, then take her back to his apartment for a night of pleasure. The uncle will be in the bedroom closet so if the boy has a problem, he can shout it out, and from the closet will come the answer about what to do. That night everything is going according to the plan. When they get back to the apartment the hooker gets into bed while the young man goes to the bathroom to put on a condom. The prostitute suddenly gets a cramp and must go to the bathroom now! She feels around the bed and grabs an empty shoe box and takes a big dump in it. Now here comes the young man walking in the dark room. He steps in the shoe box and shouts out, "There's shit in the box, there's shit in the box !!" From the closet comes the reply, "Then roll her over!

Two women are hiking in the woods...

Two women are hiking in the woods. After an hour or so, they come to a stream. Unable to cross, they decide to walk along the stream and look for a narrower place. Fortunately they come to an old bridge spanning the stream. Deciding the bridge is safe, the two women proceed to cross. Halfway across, one woman stops and says to the other, "I`ve always wanted to be like the guys, and urinate off a bridge." The other woman looks around and says, "Well, I don`t see anyone around, now`s your chance!" The first woman drops her hiking shorts and backs over to the side of the bridge. As she begins to urinate, she looks over her shoulder. "Oh no!" she exclaims, "I just pissed in a canoe!" Alarmed, the second woman hurries over,and peeks at the stream. "Calm down," she says. "That wasn't a canoe you pissed in, it was only your reflection."