A man went went to the doctor...

A man went went to the doctor and said, "Doc, I've gained 80 pounds. I'm miserable, I can't even see my private parts."
The doctor  asked "Have you tried to diet?"
The man thought for a minute and said "What color?"

Hillary Clinton's Concussion...

A reporter asks Bill Clinton, "How's Hillary's head?"

Bill replied, "Well, she's no Monica."

The Romantic Blowjob

BOY: Give me a blowjob.
GIRL: Can you be more romantic?
BOY: Fine, give me a blowjob in the rain.

A Poem From The Heart

I sent my sinuses to Arizona,
I sent my liver to Peru.
I sent my lungs and my kidney
For the summer to Sydney,
But I'm sending my heart to you....

A Redneck walks in the gas station...

A redneck walks in the gas station and buys condoms and a case of beer. The cashier asks, "Would you like a bag?"

Redneck says, "No thanks, she's not that ugly."

What do Hillbilles Do on Halloween?

What do Hillbilles Do on Halloween?
Pump kin!

Why do lawyers wear ties?

Why do lawyers wear ties?
It keeps the foreskin from creeping up over their heads.