At the High School Reunion

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

Flipping Channels

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started...

My wife was standing nude....

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

Condom History

www.talkingeasy.com

What Did Cinderella Say...

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

Glurrrghaarggh!

Maurice, How Could You!!

Two Nuns are Driving Through Transylvania...

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are  traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and stop at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and  hisses at them through the windshield.

'Quick, quick!' shouts Sister Catherine. 'What shall we do?'

'Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,' shouts Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches the windshield wipers on, knocking Dracula  about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

'What shall I do now?' Sister Catherine shouts.

'Switch on the windshield washer! I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican!' says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the  water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

'Now what?' shouts Sister Catherine.

'Show him your cross,' says Sister Helen.

'Now you're talking,' says Sister Catherine.

She opens the window and shouts, 'Get the F*** off the car!'